Right you lot, enough is enough! I've not had a win for weeks and all of you have been taking it in turns to 'wup' my, not so little, ass. The time has come to take charge of the GOB's leaderboard and stamp my undoubted class and natural ability upon you bunch of 'no-hopers'.

I'm obviously getting older and need to take advantage of new technology so I've tried out a few of those 'new-fangled' hybrid clubs and made my choice . . . and here it is:



It's a 22 degree Ping Hybrid that feels and sounds great when hit properly and is much more forgiving than the 2, 3 and 4 irons that it will replace.
I've also dug my 15 degree Orlimar fairway wood out from the lower depths of my Skoda boot and cleaned it up (removed the rust)!
All the other irons have had the past three month's mud and grass removed and I'm raring to go, anywhere, on Thursday.

Until a more suitable replacement can be found I guess I'm just going to have to get used to carrying that bloody cushion around too!